When perusing my news websites I came upon this page.  I had to submit my photo.

Hot or Not Beekeepers

Must be a really slow news day.

Honey. Its whats for dinner.

Some of you may know that I am a sideline web developer.  It helps provide a little extra fun cash especially when you have expensive hobbies and when you have to justify to your better half why you need that pimped out gold plated hive tool.

Coupled with that I also have an unhealthy interest in zombie movies.  Dawn of the Dead, Return of the Living Dead, Shaun of the Dead are among some of my favorites.  So I thought it would be interesting to marry the two together with a website that tests your ability to survive a Zombie Apocalypse.  To take the test click here. ZombieComp.com.

To see what a zombie apocalypse  might be like please read Max Brook’s, Mel Brook’s son, World War Z.  It is a fictional account, written as a serious documentary, of the Great War between the humans and undead.  Very good reading for when you are on vacation.  In the book, civilization takes a major setback.  Gone are the IPods, the venti coffees at your local Starbucks, and the comfort of walking down the street with your dog and not being chased by zombies.  Life as we know is ruined but the government’s around the world are set to reclaim it from the cold dead hands of Charleston Heston.

During the recovery effort the world has flipped flopped.  Once powerful lawyers, executives, bankers, accountants and low rent web developers have become the peons of society.  The people who are now considered essential are the ones who know a trade.  Machinists, welders, plumbers, gardeners, anyone that can contribute to the rebuilding of the country.  All of those formerly at the top had no useful skills in a world where there was no need for web developers or M.B.A.s.  As a result thousands of Brook Brother’s clad Stock brokers were handed a shovel and told to go dig.

I incorporated this aspect of the book into my Zombie exam with the question. How many trades do you know? When I wrote this I had to think what knowledge I had that might be useful to society or rebuilding the country.  My wife is a potter so she can make functional items out of commonly found materials.  Prior to being  a web developer I made maps for the government so maybe I could fall on this as a useful trade.  Unfortunately map making now a days is all done with computers.  I would have to learn how to do things by hand and changing map projections from one form to another requires extensive knowledge of mathematics which I really don’t have.  As a result my maps would probably look like the scrawl you write down to help your friend find your house party.

But alas. All of us here have a skill that would be of prime importance.  Beekeeping.  Lets quickly go through its merits.

1. Provide honey as a sweeter or even as a topical anti-biotic.
2. A source for alchohol. Meade.  Probably the most valuable commodity we could produce.
3. Most importantly the production of wax.  In a society with no readily available electricity can you imagine the value of a candle?
4. Also for providing the masses with more variety in their diets.  Another useful trait of beekeeping.

There are probably a few more but you get the idea.

On a scale of 1 to 10 where 1 is equal to lets say a Treasury Secretary and 10 to a doctor; I think beekeepers fall into a 7 or 8.  We would become the new elite.  So next time you are on the road and that smug smart ass with a red power tie blows by you in his Lexus. Just think to yourself. You wont last long in the coming age of zombies.

This week I hope to buy all of my equipment. I will list my order for anyone interested.  Sorry I have not written recently but I have been busy, which is a good thing.
JPB

Happy New Year Everyone!  My wife and I celbrated on New Year’s Eve by watching Star Wars but by the time we viewed the part where Luke buys R2D2 and C3PO from the Jawas, we were yawning.  Yawning because we were dead tired and because this was probably the 500th time we had seen Star Wars. So we turned it off and watched one episode of South Park before we decided to call it quits for the evening.  I guess middle age is coming right around the corner.

As far a resolutions are concerned mine is to intake only 1500 milligrams of sodium per day and a few beekeeping resoultions listed below.

1. Have all of my equipment purchased and assembled by March 15th.
2. Do not use any miticides and rely on the honeybee’s advertised ability to be resistant to mites.
3. Visit my hive a least four times a month.
4. Teach a few people about beekeeping in my local area.
5. Learn more about comb honey production for next year.
6. Get off my duff and join a local bee organization.  At heart, I am not into joining groups.  I would rather find a group of beekeepers I could go have a beer with rather than joining a formal organization.
7. If possible actually sell some of my honey from last year.  I still have about 80 pounds that needs to be extracted.  I will probably just put in on the hives for my new bees though.

I guess that is about it. I would love to here from any readers about how there bee season goes.  Good luck.